I had been thinking about starting a post on why business people hafta hire me as a writer. Afta all (sorry about the diction—I’m from Boston), we have all gone too (or is it to?) school and know howta write, right?

Then, before I could even begin scratching my head (yes, studies have shown that head scratching really does help the ideas to flow better), I found some great excuses to put off the task at hand and play with my neglected Twitter account instead. Neglected because I still can’t quite get the advantage of using Twitter (or as I call it, Twitta), and I thought maybe I’d find out if I at least tried to use it.

Lo, I found that some people in my absence had decided to “follow” me! Poor neglected beings. My last Twitta post (OK, OK, it’s a Tweet) was September 23, 2010.

 So I jumped on again and decided to find some people of my own to follow. And then the magic of social media happened. Two hours later, I finally came up for air. I had found tweets by Liz Craig, a fellow writer and friend, and that led me to her fine blog which then led me to her beautifully written post on why people should hire a professional writer! My work’s done, baby!!!

Here’s the link to Liz’s excellent explanation of what a professional writer can do for you (which I could never top if I took a million years to scratch one out—thanks, Liz). And here’s to Twitta, which I guess does play a useful role in getting all of us to hook up with one anotha.

Fran Fahey, Fran's Fine Editing

Got some helpful feedback on my web post, WWW.What the Heck?, which attempts to talk about what makes good copy for your website.

One person asked: How about some examples of good and bad web copy, Fran?  OK—can do!

It just so happens that a few months ago, I made a presentation to another group on the same topic. Here are the two websites I used as my examples, with the URLs and other identifiers of the guilty held back (in case they are your first cousins). I’ll just share the first two paragraphs from their respective home pages. Take a look at them and compare each to my points about being brief, using informal language, and getting to the heart of what your client cares about.

Both websites are for companies doing home inspections. This one I don’t like—it uses we/you point of view, but it’s mostly about the company, not the client. On the site itself, you can’t even find this text until you’ve “paged down” twice past too many uninformative stock photos:

[name of company] provides comprehensive narrative home inspection reports on single family residences, multi-unit apartment buildings and commercial buildings. Our home inspection report findings are in compliance with [name of state’s organization]  [acronym] Real Estate Inspectors Association) Standards of Practice.

Your understanding of the home inspection findings is critical to our goal of providing the best customer service available. We encourage you to accompany the home inspector through the home inspection process to receive a complete consultation and valuable orientation to the home, property and its systems.

This one I like a lot better. You see this text the minute you open their home page. Same word count, has all the necessary keywords, makes similar points—but who would you rather hire?

[name of company] offers a one-stop shopping solution for your [name of city] home inspection needs. With us you can get a whole house inspection, termite, radon and any number of other services all from the same company!

It is a stressful time when you buy or sell a home. Knowing that you have had a fair, honest competent whole house inspection by an experienced independent third party inspector helps reduce the risk and makes the entire experience a happier one.

http://www.openforum.com/idea-hub/topics/technology/article/top-5-web-design-mistakes-small-businesses-make-grace-smith

Best of luck with your own website!

Fran Fahey, Fran's Fine Editing

Although I have a website, a LinkedIn page, a Facebook personal page, a Facebook biz page, and a blog, I am still somewhat of a closet Luddite when it comes to certain technology. Last night was a good example of how it catches up with me.

I had been enjoying a sensual dream about my mother’s baked stuffed artichokes, soft hearts oozing with Pastene’s olive oil and generous chunks of garlic. I woke suddenly to the sound of Riley barking.

Boop!

That sound—kind of like an electronic sound, maybe.  I raised my head up immediately and sniffed the air, while Riley continued to bark.

Boop!

Yes, it was a faint electronic  sound occurring at a regular interval.  Smoke alarm wearing out its battery? Better check.

I got up and started my patrol of our one-floor ranch. Jean came out of her nightly coma to mumble, “Let the dog out—it must be the bear in the back yard again,” and then went back to sleep.

Boop!

It became a game of hot/cold.  As I wandered from room to room, the faint sound either got louder or faded.  Just in case, I checked the basement also, but the heat went on and blotted out any other sound.

Boop!

Now I’m getting frustrated. I open the door to the room Riley sleeps in, and he comes bounding out and glues all 80 lbs. of himself to the rug beside Jean in the bedroom, which wakes her up again. “Whaaaahmmmm?”

“Go back to sleep; I’ve got it.”

Not really. My heart is jack-hammering and my hands are sweating.

Not wanting to wake Jean, I turn on only one light and creep through the house, trying not to bump into things or step on Max the cat, who is now spooked as well and following me everywhere.

Boop!

I check the computer closely, as it sometimes talks when it’s unhappy, but that’s not it. In the dark, my entire home is a field of fireflies, little lights winking and glowing on the phones, the clocks, the VCR, the TV, the modem, the stove, the coffee pot that still needs cleaning, the smoke alarms, the CO2 alarm . . .

Boop!

THERE IT IS—I am right next to the sound! I raise the living room shade and stare into a large round yellow light glaring at me from the street.  My heart skitters to a stop.  Max runs and hides under the futon.

OK, no, not a UFO . . . just the reflection in the window of the one light I turned on.

Silence.

Suddenly a series of soft musical notes plays. Right in front of me, from my pocketbook. The sexy Verizon melody of a cell phone shutting itself down.

I fish it out and see that the battery is dead and the beeping sound has stopped.

I’ve been a bad mother.  I haven’t charged it for weeks. I haven’t even used it since last September when we moved here and didn’t have a phone. I bought it only for emergencies, not even using it for business purposes in case I got that all-important call from a client and hit a dead zone at the same time. But, I am afraid to shut it off, so it lives at the bottom of my pocketbook, feeding on lint. I check the messages once a month and find wrong numbers, text ads from car dealers, and an occasional (probably former) friend who forgot I don’t take incoming and left me a message by mistake. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I plugged the phone into its charger and patted it.  “OK, you win this time,” I admitted. Maybe I’ll pay more attention to it in the future. Then again, probably not.

(Dedicated to my sister in law Julia, who still, bless her heart, has a rotary phone.)

Fran Fahey, Fran’s Fine Editing

It’s unbelievable the things people say to me when they find out I'm an editor.

“Oh, really,” and she walks away before she can be caught making a grammatical error in her next sentence. Or, “Here’s a copy of my newsletter for you to read, as long as you promise not to EDIT it,” he writes.  

It all makes me feel lonely, depersonalized, and unappreciated.

Folks, I’m really not that bad. And I like people. I think of them as flesh and blood, not just a bundle of words and thoughts that must be placed into some kind of order.

I don’t care how well you speak, or how badly you write. I’ll listen intently to what you have to say and read your writing with great interest, because I want to get to know you. And I’ll gladly provide suggestions, but only when I’m invited to do so—and preferably for money.

So, please think of this, the next time you meet an editor. Don’t be afraid. Look into her eyes, smile, and shake her hand. Say something like, “Oh, excellent! Do you like Bob Dylan?”

Fran Fahey, Fran's Fine Editing

Ever have to write something, and find yourself putting it off, until it’s too late to do it at all? Ever get the sweats looking at a blank screen, then say to yourself, “Hmmm, where’s that sewing project I’ve been meaning to do for the last six months, I need to get it done NOW”? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Every author, no matter how experienced, faces writer’s block from time to time.

The more you write, the easier it gets, like any other practical skill. The trick I follow when I’m challenged by a topic is to just sit down at my computer and start writing what I know about the topic, even if it sounds weird. It physically and mentally loosens me up, like a warm-up exercise. I also find that it captures what I really feel about the topic, and it helps me get excited about it.

Then I research online what don’t know about the topic and add to the piece. Before I know it, I have several pages filled with stuff, which I then edit down to a reasonable amount of stuff (and then let my wife Jean edit the stuff into much Finer-sounding stuff, which she likes to do for fun sometimes). It may be a little backward, but it works for me.

Another technique I follow is to break the writing task into small pieces, just doing a little at a time. Then, I take my dog Riley out for a walk to clear my brain in between those small pieces. Amazing what I think of when I return from the exercise of letting Riley drag me around the block with him.

Don’t try to proofread what you are writing as you type, or it will interrupt your flow. Edit at the end of your task instead, when you can take a step back and look at the whole piece. I find if I am writing a letter of complaint to someone, the distance lets me come back to it and edit out the nasty tone—this way, the person might actually respond to my request for help, instead of filing me in the “oval” file. If you need some proofreading tips, see my post on “Proofreading: Feel the Pain.”

Good luck, and I look forward to reading some of your own ideas for unblocking writer’s block.

Fran Fahey, Fran’s Fine Editing

When’s the last time you went to your local library? Do you know what they can do for you?

About a year ago, I almost cried when I read about the possible closing of many of the Boston Public Library branches due to shortage of funding. Thank goodness it has not come to pass, so far. Brian McGrory, one of my favorite Globe writers, captured my feelings perfectly in his 2/26/10 article, Treasure Islands at Risk .

After you read Brian’s article, do you still say to yourself, “Who cares?” Well, I care. Let me tell you why.

As someone who’s experienced my own funding shortage, I have used my local libraries for my pleasure reading and for work. I love the homey feel of each small library, the smell of polished wood and aging books, and the idiosyncracies of each employee, many of who have become my friends over time. There’s nothing quite like having someone look up from what she is doing and smile when I come in the door, ask what she can do to help me—and it’s not home, where my wife Jean has to welcome me, and I’m not buying anything from her, either . . . well, except for the time we accidentally dumped the latest Stephen King into the washing machine and we had to pay for a replacement copy.

When I walk into the Emily Williston Library, I read the bulletin board, which tells me about the local CSA farm I can join to get my organic veggies, and the writers’ group that meets each week. I love to read the titles of books and flip through them (begone, Kindle, until I can no longer see the words!). Hard covers, soft covers, old ones falling apart, new ones that haven’t yet been opened. I can order a book online from any library in our system, and have it appear in my own library as if it flew there on a magic carpet, reserved just for me. I even go there to get help with research from human beings, if my Internet searches fail me.

I haven’t even mentioned all of the other things libraries offer: Wi-Fi, CDs, DVDs, museum passes, kids’ programs, meeting space. All free.

I’ve tried to show my thanks to each library for being there for me. I’ve given small donations to the Friends of each library, and gave up most of my own books to them to sell at their book sales to raise money. It’s not much, but it’s better than thinking about never having a library to go to.

Fran Fahey, Fran’s Fine Editing

Have you looked at your business web site lately?  Maybe you’d better.  As a matter of fact, pull it up right now and look at it as you read this.

How well does your web copy communicate what you want it to say?  As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s it working for ya?”

What I do most often is write web copy for my clients. Web copy is different from the copy you’ll see in other types of marketing vehicles. We web surfers, well, we just don’t have the time to read a full sentence.  So, you have only a few seconds to grab people’s attention and make your case, before they go on to the next site.

 Readers will ditch your site right away if they are:

• bored by your presentation,
• confused by what you are trying to say, or
• overwhelmed by all the stuff you throw at them.

So, make sure your site is written for your customers, not for your own entertainment.  Here are some quick tips, supported by my gurus in web content, like Robert W. Bly.

• Be personal. Use “I” and “you.” The web is a conversation between two people: the potential customer and you. Let them know what you can do for them—don’t lecture at them, or use all your space just describing yourself.

• Be organized and brief. Don’t use long paragraphs, or try to fit too much on one page. Break your text into short paragraphs of no more than 2-3 sentences, and use lots of bulleted lists (like this one) to make your page easy to scan.

• Use headlines and questions that immediately get at the heart of what your customers need.

• Use only enough photos, videos and animation to educate your customer and make your case. Too many of these, while fun and attractive, can be a distraction

• Close your “sale” with an easy way for people to get in touch, using a clearly visible phone number, address, email, contact or order forms, etc.

If your site doesn’t pass the test, then get help from a web designer or copywriter. We're here to make you look great!

Fran Fahey, Fran’s Fine Editing

So the joke goes something like this, with a few embellishments:

Mr. Brown was traveling through Kansas and met a guy selling penguins at $2.00 each. “What a great deal,” he thinks. He calls the Bronx Zoo, who tells him that they’ll buy as many penguins as he can sell them at $90.00 each, so he buys 129 of them to bring to New York.

Around Hackensack, NJ, Mr. Brown’s car breaks down. While he’s waiting for AAA, a Good Samaritan stops to help him, and Mr. Brown says, “Would you take these penguins to the Bronx Zoo?” The guy agrees to help, loads all 129 penguins into his car, and takes off.

In the Bronx, Mr. Brown gets into a major bumper-to-bumper traffic jam. As he creeps closer to the zoo, he sees people lined up along the sides of the street, pointing and laughing. As he pulls up to the zoo, he sees the guy who helped him walking along the sidewalk, trailed by a line of penguins holding balloons. “What the heck?” he says to the guy. “I asked you to take them to the zoo!”

“Sure, I did,” the guy said. “But I had a little money left over, so I’m taking them to the movies!”

Moral of the story? Be careful how you word things. You just may get exactly what you ask for.

Fran Fahey, Fran’s Fine Editing